STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS REFLECTION ON THE MADE IN THE 216 AND MY CURRENT PERSONAL STATE BEGINS HERE:
So I find myself tonight, about one day away from finally emptying the space that held my MADE IN THE 216 event, taking a break. I am sitting at my computer enjoying the relaxing and creativity-inducing activity of sifting through the plethora of blogs i have bookmarked.
Neko Case playing on my ipod, a singer i absolutely NEVER tire of, who has the power to make me feel so good about being alone, I am, for the first time in months, letting go of it all right now. I feel pretty emotional actually. I knew I put my heart and soul into that event, but I think it went deeper than that, or maybe i am just really really tired. i don’t know.
I have been back in Cleveland now for 6 years. I have had a very steady career in Visual Merchandising/Managing, Interior Design and Buying. I have had my own store now for a year and a half. Just when I thought I knew everyone ( a bad habit of mine ) I realized I haven’t even scratched the surface. This store and event has opened this city to me….and thus given me a reinvigorated sense of excitement about it and the people which make it what it is.
and what is it? well, I think its a lot more than i ever gave it credit for and i was NOT one of the nay-sayers. I am not saying it is not without its faults but what city is?
When analyzing why it is I originally left or speculating as to why so many people I know have and still do leave; I think for most of us, whether we realize it or want to admit it or not, its often a case of the thinking that the damn grass is going to be greener.
if people stated their reasons for leaving as simply a need for a change, or a challenge in making it elsewhere (because it certainly is a tremendous challenge), i could understand that. i mean, when i am feeling my life get stagnant i seek out a big change of some sort (this may explain why it is that in the last 6 years i have lived in SEVEN (7) places) BUT, to leave with a statement such as “this place sucks and is lame”…isn’t really fair. i have come to realize everything is what we make of it. i am not waiting for anyone to give me the environment i am seeking or the job i am desiring, i am simply creating it for myself and finding that it’s a lot more satisfying than waiting for it, even if it does come with a GIANT pay cut and even if it does have compromises that come along with it (big ones as it turns out).
maybe we don’t walk into any grocery store, restaurant, bar, neighborhood and trip over like-minded people as one (i suspect) thinks they will do in larger markets, but they are HERE! they are everywhere! I meet new people through my store every single day that challenge me to create a vehicle for putting them all under one ‘roof’ to prove that they are here!
We could have any ’scene’ we want and create any life we want if we just simply DO IT. This may be a Nike slogan and trite but its no less true. Are we waiting for someone else to do it, are we ignoring it when they do? I have my eyes WIDE OPEN and am seeing a like-minded culture all around me and am utterly motivated to keep it that way and encourage its growth. I am not trying to create your scene or tell you that what i do is the end all be all, i am simply creating what I DESIRE and if you want to join along for the ride, i am honored.
the MADE IN THE 216 event, for me, was such a vehicle. I did curate a particular sensibility for it, but I tried to involve a wide-weft of talent and draw attention to all those that are, i believe, in sync with my commitment to building our town to be what we desire (and again, there are plenty more of these people that haven’t yet been included in the event, they’re everywhere!)…the evidence of this to me, is the fact that for one…they are HERE. they are here building their businesses, trying to either make a living creating what they love, or doing what they love to balance their lives…either way, they are here and they are creating here and i am so proud of that.
I am grateful to every single blogger that posted about the event. This was such a reward for me, as a blogger myself I appreciated so greatly your powerful contribution to this event.
The great reward of 4 months of steadfast planning and hard work paid off in the form of the throngs of people that showed up and filled the street. Every business from the vendors involved to the neighborhood restaurants and shops was grateful for this. But more rewarding to me than any business it generated that weekend or in future sales from newcomers to the neighborhood was just the sheer response in numbers of people.
It was certainly my most proud moment, and as a single woman in my 30’s societies rules play tricks on me sometimes, making me question my path and ponder whether i will ever achieve more balance, but this cannot be mistaken or taken from me, this….this event, was a success and something that will feed my soul and inspire me to continue.
It is not easy running a retail store in this economy or with construction all around the store. Sometimes I get bogged down in the ‘business’ of business-ownership and feel a bit like i am flying blind. I am not very good, as i have recently discovered, at letting people help me. Its not so much that i am a control freak (although this is debatable) but a disbelief that people want to spend their precious free time helping me?!
It’s true though. People are generous beyond words and have, with no financial benefit to them, offered up their spare time to assist me…ted, taking down lights in the hot hot heat up on a ladder for hours, charity in between teaching and running her own business creating the cutest signage for my event and even printing them for me, michelle, coming in and assisting me hanging art then sacrificing her freedom at the event to run the bar for me, John A., taking me to home depot to buy materials and haul in his truck then helping me build temporary walls, John D. for hauling heavy furniture in to let me use as a cash wrap and bar, melanie, coming in after the event to take all the bottles and cans to the recycler, Beth, for working her ASS off at the event and the day after in helping me break it down, Brendan G., for building me a fitting room last minute and getting me ice the day of the show, stephanie for taking me to target the morning of the event when i realized i never bought cups, kevin, who DURING the event as a GUEST went to the store and bought me more beer and John M. who i am pretty sure made an ice run during the event as well, Happy Dog for being such accommodating hosts of my after party and assisting me with the kegs, Luxe for providing me with a bandaid when i got a log-sized splinter under my nail during the event and a power strip when my power at RS went out)….These are just a few of the people who helped me out in a pinch with no personal benefit from it.
I believe so deeply in creating the life i desire myself, but i am so proud to be surrounded by so many others doing the same thing…the waterloo neighborhood is full of like-minded folks, the tremont neighborhood, ohio city, e.4th, mid-town, Gordon Square, CUDC, William Rupnick Gallery, Studio’s at 78th…i am just scratching the surface, you know i am.
I wrote a city guide to Cleveland for the Design*Sponge blog last July. Just one year ago, and it is LONG and not at all 100% …and it is already outdated!
I am just waxing on now. i didn’t really intend to write all of this but it felt cathartic.
I guess, in closing, without haven proof read anything, as i rarely do, I wanting the general sentiment to be something along the lines of….
I am trying. trying to do my best. trying to create a life that inspires me and if it inspires anyone else along the way, its a gift, a wonderful and satisfying gift. I am grateful to the support of everyone i have met along the way and well, just grateful to have met so many amazingly inspiring people along the way.
xoxo
dd
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